Born with a 16 inch penis, Roman has had difficulties finding his own true love. A specialist in everything superficial, he has the experience to know what a real loving relationship should entail. Solely because that is everything his relationships are not. Hailing from Moldova, which he will vehemently deny when questioned, Roman has detatched from his gypsy upbringing and settled in Rockville, MD. He drinks sparkling wine until violently intoxicated, and passes out on the nearest piece of furniture. Many of Roman's shortcomings can be explained on the fact he is a cat person. Always a groomsman, never a groom.